Not-to-do List
by Lanie L Sullivan
Summary: Response to a challenge. What happens when Francine offers to help Amanda in any way she can after her shooting? Just what did she get herself into in doing so? One-shot Rated T for some innuendo just to be safe.


Disclaimer: "Scarecrow and Mrs. King" is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Productions. The plot is mine, but not the characters. This story is meant for enjoyment purposes only. No infringement is intended.

AN: This is a response to a challenge to begin a story with the phrase, "What the hell did you do to him/her? Set season 4 sometime after "Mission of Gold" and assuming that "One Flew East" happened a bit later since Amanda would have needed some serious recovery time after her shooting.

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"What the hell did you do to her?" Lee questioned with a confused look on his face. He'd walked into the house simply to check up on his wife, but had instead found Francine half-comatose, looking like a train wreck, and groaning in pain on Amanda's sofa.

Amanda, who sat in the armchair to the right of the couch, shrugged. "Do to her? Me? I didn't do anything to her. Mm-mm."

"It was my own stupid fault," Francine groaned. "Never, ever trust a housewife."

Lee couldn't help the laughter that bubbled forth at Francine's comment.

"Oh, stop," Amanda scolded him. "Are you okay, Francine?"

In response, the blonde slowly pulled herself up and answered, "Okay...yes, but boy, am I sore. Just know that I've learned my lesson and will never do this again."

Amanda rolled her eyes. "Sore? You do realize you're talking to a woman with a hole through her upper torso, right?"

"Yes, your pain is worse than mine, but still...don't think I won't find a way to get you back for this."

"Get her back?" Lee raised an eyebrow, more confused than ever. "I thought you said this was your fault."

Francine narrowed her blue eyes at him. "You'd like that, wouldn't you? To put the blame all on me to spare your sweet, little Amanda?"

"Oh, come on, Francine. It wasn't _that_ bad!" She giggled at the whole situation. "I admit, I had too much fun putting you through this." She turned to Lee and confessed, "It was really my fault."

"No, no," Francine argued. "I put myself out there to be used. How can I blame you if you took full advantage of it?"

Lee watched the two women going back and forth and finally interjected, "Does somebody wanna tell me just what the hell _did_ happen?"

"What do you think you're doing, Missy," Dotty's scolding voice sounded as she entered the room with a laundry basket. "Sitting down when there are still things to be done?"

"Dotty!" Lee gaped at her. "Are you kidding? Amanda's still recovering from a near-fatal gunshot woumd. You can't just-"

"I'm well aware of that, Lee," Dotty interrupted. "I'm not talking to Amanda. I'm talking to Francine." She then turned to the woman in question and ordered, "Come on. Up, up, up. I still need help with these things."

"Ugh," Francine moaned, but grudgingly pulled herself to her feet anyway.

"Good." Dotty gave her an approving nod. "Now, come with me and I'll show you how to use the washing machine."

After Dotty had dragged Francine off to the laundry room, Lee looked at Amanda quizzically. "Washing machine? Francine? Are you sure that's a good idea? I mean, you do like having your machine in one piece, right?"

"Oh, don't worry, Lee. Mother won't let her destroy it."

"Just her, right?"

Amanda laughed, but then winced. "Ow. It feels so good to laugh again, but it hurts at the same time."

"Maybe you should go upstairs and get some rest," he suggested.

"Are you kidding me? I wouldn't miss this show for anything," she responded with a chuckle.

Lee had to admit that it was pretty funny and couldn't help laughing a bit himself. "How did this all happen anyway? I mean, this is the last place I expected Francine to be on her day off."

"Poor Francine." Amanda giggled again. When Lee gave her a stern look, she finally conceded. "Okay, okay. It started out simply enough. Francine came by to check on me. You know, see how I was recovering, if I needed anything-"

"Which I will never do again," Francine chimed in from the other room.

"What she actually said was, 'if you need anything, anything at all, don't hesitated to ask.' So, I-"

Lee burst out laughing. "You didn't."

"Well, no. Not at first anyway. At first, I just thanked her for her kindness, but then Mother...well, she went on and on about how nice that was and how she was sure it would ease my mind if she had some help picking up the slack around the house since there are so many things that I'm not able to do yet."

"Oh no..." Lee sat down on the couch and shook his head. "Then what happened?"

"Nothing really. I just put together a to-do list for the house."

"A-man-da..." He gave her a knowing look that clearly told her he wasn't buying that that was all there was to the story.

"So, I might have embellished the to-do list a bit...you know, maybe...just maybe put a few things on there that didn't absolutely have to be done."

"Which is why 'offering to help Amanda' is going on my not-to-do list from this moment on," Francine declared as she re-entered the room.

"Francine, come on, now. You were a pretty good sport about this whole thing and you know, you could have left at any time. I wouldn't have held it against you."

"Now you tell me," she sighed wearily as she sank down onto the couch next to Lee.

"Well, look at the bright side. You learned a lot today, stuff they don't teach at the Agency."

"Oh, yeah," she confirmed. "That's why this..." she gestured around the room. "All of this...the neat and tidy house is also going on my not-to-do list."

"Francine, I've been to your place," Lee countered. "It always looks nice."

"Because I hire a cleaning lady to do it," Francine reminded him.

"Francine, are you ready to start with the dinner preparations? It's getting about that time, you know." Dotty asked her. "Lee, you're staying for dinner again, right?"

"Not if Francine's cooking," he quipped.

"Oh, hush, you're staying," Dotty ordered him good-naturedly. "Besides I'm sure she's a fine cook. After all, we've gotten to know each other quite well today and she told me all about her cooking lessons with Mrs. Welch."

Lee and Amanda exchanged looks and burst out laughing, both sure that Francine hadn't told Dotty _all_ about those lessons and at the idea of her being a "fine cook."

"Such a shame about what happened to Mrs. Welch. I rather enjoyed her show."

"Shame?" Francine snorted. "You ask me, she got what's coming to her." When both Lee and Amanda shot warning looks in her direction, she amended, "I mean, because she was such a slave-driver during my lessons."

"Hmm...she always seemed so nice on TV."

Lee and Amanda both struggled to suppress more laughter while Francine rolled her eyes.

"It's true," Amanda said impishly, shooting Lee a look under her lashes. "And her recipes were good, especially the Pilgrim's Peach Puff. I haven't had any of that since before I was shot. It's even better with whipped cream."

"That was once one of my favorite desserts," Francine chimed him with a 'gotcha' look aimed at Amanda. "So good, but like many good things, some of them just aren't good _for_ you. Right, Lee?"

Lee shot Francine a murderous look."I'll get you for that, you know," he muttered under his breath.

"Still it's sad that she turned out to be some sort of criminal. I guess you just never can tell about people." Dotty turned her attention to her daughter, "So, was that a hint that you'd like Pilgrim's Peach Puff for dessert?"

Still looking at Lee and grinning, Amanda replied, "I would _love_ some Pilgrim's Peach Puff for dessert."

"That's what we'll do then, but if we're going to do that, we should get going on dinner. Come on, Francine."

"Help me," Francine mouthed silently. But when the pair just started laughing again, she grudgingly followed Dotty to the kitchen and grumbled, "Cooking. Just one more thing for the not-to-do list."

"So, exactly, what did you put on the to-do list that you didn't need to?" Lee had to ask.

"Oh, just stuff that we don't do all the time. You know, like cleaning out the garage, beating the rugs, cleaning the gutters..."

"You just made Francine do all your Spring cleaning for you, didn't you?"

"Who? Me? Would I do that?" Off Lee's look, she said, "Okay, yes, but I won't be able-bodied enough by the time it comes around to get so much of the stuff done, I thought why not get it done early while there's someone here who is? So, I just sort of..."

"Added them to your to-do list," Lee finished for her.

He couldn't help admiring his wife's cunning. Just one of many things that made him fall in love with her, but those thoughts were interrupted, by Francine calling from the kitchen, "Not-to-do list!" Whatever form of revenge Francine thought up later would be well worth it just to be sitting there seeing Amanda laughing again.

He got up and meandered into the kitchen and in a mock-helpful tone, suggested, "You know, Francine, if you still want to help out once you're done with all this, I can tell you my place is a mess since I've been spending so much time over here."

"That pit?" She glared at him with arched eyebrows. "No way in hell. That one's going at the _top_ of my not-to-do list."


End file.
